Sometimes...

when life is frustrating, you just need to watch the sunrise or play with spagetti.

Time....?

Time doesn't stand still. Not even for a second. Baba has been gone for 8 days and life continues to move forward. Kids need to get off to school. Meals need to be made. People must head to work. I just don't feel like doing anything. Part of me just wants to be suspended in time. The time when Baba was well and doing things she loved. Telling us kids to get outside because she's had to much racket. A time when Gido had his wife by his side whether that was at the farm or in the hospital.

It was Baba's time and she lived a long, happy life. 91 years! I think the hardest part now is the grief I feel for Gido. His wife is gone. He spent 69 years with her and now what? He sits alone at the table they once shared. He sleeps alone in a room they called "home.". I have a feeling that Gido is not living anymore. He is just waiting until he meets his love again.

And as I sit here thinking of my love of 10 years, I can't blame him.

Don't worry Gido, Baba has already found the best mushroom and berry patches and will undoubtedly have a great meal waiting for you.

Family

We can be an overwhelming bunch. We don't always see eye to eye. Sometimes we can downright piss each other off. BUT I can say with confidence that we love each other. This is the clan that can cry together during the day and sing and pound tables the same night. I am blessed to have cousins that outweigh and outlive the definition.

Bringing the house down...

I took this first picture a couple of weeks ago to email to the expert of all things. I won't name names because he knows who he is and a public announcement will only make him that much more confident in his knowledge of everything.


The following pictures capture the fire and the house coming down. It was pretty cool and uneventful at the same time. BUT don't ever under estimate the power of a fire. From the lighting to house on the ground was 25 minutes.

Baba

My heart is sad but my spirit is happy. I shed many tears. Shared many embraces. Shared memories and listened to stories. Shared MANY laughs. Many laughs. Baba would have loved the laughter and seeing her family all together.

Can't Do It.

I'm just not ready.

I can't write about her.

I can't post pictures.

I am holding her dear to my heart and I am just not ready to share.

Maybe I'm selfish. Maybe I just don't want to believe.

I think I just want to laugh and cry and visit with those she loved most. And those that LOVED HER.

Whatever it is, Saturday brings a day I knew would come but never wanted to see.

Yes Days

I say "no" a lot. Too often in fact. Along with "no" I can also be heard saying "just a minute" or "I'll be right there."

I think 2 days a week will become YES days. Whatever the girls ask or want to do will be met with a "yes." Of course this will be within reason. There will be no weekend trips to Disneyland or trips to the moon. There will be no Toys R Us shopping sprees or eating candy for a day.

I need to fine some balance within our home. I won't find it over night but at least I will be finding it with my most favorite people.

Cheers.

Saturday Smiles

Things that frustrate me...

1) A daughter that changes clothes 3-4 times/day.

2) The calories in tasty coffee creamers.

3) Slow moving scales.

4) Temper tantrums in a one year old.

5) Dishes on the counter when an empty dishwasher is inches away.

6) Piles of laundry needing to be folded.

7) The smell of meat when you've given it up for lent.

8) Finding creative, tasty meal ideas...EVERY.SINGLE.DAY.

9) My stinky feet.

10) Inconsiderate lane swimmers.