If you haven’t heard about the new guidelines for Alberta schools you must be living under a rock. These guidelines are aimed towards any person living as a transgender within a school setting. These guidelines are aimed at ensuring, transgender individuals, who are already walking a difficult road, have a safe place within the walls of their school. In my heart, it feels as though the guidelines are wrapping their arms around a minority and saying “It's ok. You aren’t alone and we will help.”
But with any “threat” comes a plethora of fear, undocumented statistics and stereotypes. Just months ago, I was reading hateful things about Muslims and Syrians. People were protesting the Canadian government for their commitment to welcome 25000 refugees. People were using words like terrorist & ISIS. “How can we let these, scum of the earth, into our country?” I actually read those words on a friends Facebook page.
And now, with this new change, I am reading the same things but aimed towards transgender individuals. Words like rape and pedophile are being used to describe transgender youth. And “how could we let these people, near our girls?” People are saying little boys are going to declare they are girls just to sneak a peek at girls in the change room. Male teachers are going to start using the female washroom to abuse our girls. I cannot imagine being the mother or father of a transgender youth and reading that garbage. I cannot imagine being a male teacher and feeling that label.
So let’s pause a minute and think this through. I recently read an article and there are approximately 0.3% of transgender people in the United States. Another poll estimates 1 in 200 to 1 in 500. Now, while that number is hard to confirm because so many live in silence or in hiding, it’s a small number. Like very small. This very small minority has very big hurtles and very real fears. From a Canadian poll, 77% of transgender or gender-nonconforming has seriously considered suicide and 43% have actually attempted suicide. 87% of transgender students felt unsafe in places at school. Those are staggering and frightening numbers. Knowing those numbers and the real struggles transgender individuals go through, why would anyone choose such a hard path just for a peek at a girl or boy going to the washroom? I just don’t believe anyone would choose to be transgender. I don’t think it’s a choice, at all.
I am a parent of three children who are happy with their born gender. I find it EXTREMELY offensive someone would suggest my son would say he is female so he can take advantage of a girl. It actually hurts my soul. You are labeling my son as a predator based on his gender. My children identify with their gender. There is no confusion for them. They will continue to use their designated bathrooms. They will continue to refer to themselves as boy or girl. I will continue to be referred as Mom. Their dad will still be dad. Their grandparents will continue to use their titles. Nothing changes for us because we know who we are. We have never struggled with an identity crisis. I know almost all the teachers at our school and unless they have been struggling in silence, they will continue to use their designated washrooms. They will continue to use their designated titles.
I feel, these guidelines, are in place to broaden labels for those who don’t know how to label themselves yet. These guidelines aren’t in place to say you can’t be called a girl if you are born and identify as a girl. These guidelines aren’t in place so I have to stop being called “Mom.” People are being far too literal and turning these guidelines into a path towards hate and fear.
Am I afraid for my children? Am I afraid for my girls? Of course, I am. I am afraid every day. I am afraid they didn’t hear I love you enough. I am afraid they heard my voice raised one too many times. I’m afraid they didn’t get enough nutrition. I am afraid they didn’t get enough help with their homework. I’m afraid they didn’t use their manners enough. I am afraid they will make poor choices and not learn from them.
I am NOT afraid of YOUR transgender student who wants to use the washroom they identify with. I am NOT afraid of YOUR transgender student who wants to play on the sports team they identify with. I am not afraid of YOUR child. I am NOT afraid of your family and the extremely difficult path you walk. And I won’t be a part of perpetuating the fear and hate.
There is a good chance nothing will change at our school. There is a very real chance; we don’t have a transgender student. If this is the case, nothing changes. NOTHING.
There is a VERY GOOD chance; I will have to have open and honest conversations with my children about transgender individuals. There is a VERY GOOD chance; I will have to discuss the new guidelines with my children. AND it is MY job, as a parent, they understand why these guidelines are in place, who they are in place for and who they are designed to protect. It is NOT my job to instill more fear. It is my job to develop and nurture a level of empathy, acceptance and understanding.
If you want to be a part of the conversation and how this will roll out to your school, go to board meetings. Offer suggestions as to how these guidelines should be implemented. Share your concerns but offer solutions. Read and educate yourself. Talk to a transgender family and understand their hopes and concerns. Watch a documentary. But more importantly arm yourself with knowledge AND empathy. Don’t be a part of fear and hate spreading. Because as one of my favorite bloggers, Glennon Doyle Melton, says “We belong to each other” and “Love Wins.”
No comments:
Post a Comment