If you haven’t heard about the new guidelines for Alberta schools you must be living under a rock. These guidelines are aimed towards any person living as a transgender within a school setting. These guidelines are aimed at ensuring, transgender individuals, who are already walking a difficult road, have a safe place within the walls of their school. In my heart, it feels as though the guidelines are wrapping their arms around a minority and saying “It's ok. You aren’t alone and we will help.”
But with any “threat” comes a plethora of fear, undocumented statistics and stereotypes. Just months ago, I was reading hateful things about Muslims and Syrians. People were protesting the Canadian government for their commitment to welcome 25000 refugees. People were using words like terrorist & ISIS. “How can we let these, scum of the earth, into our country?” I actually read those words on a friends Facebook page.
And now, with this new change, I am reading the same things but aimed towards transgender individuals. Words like rape and pedophile are being used to describe transgender youth. And “how could we let these people, near our girls?” People are saying little boys are going to declare they are girls just to sneak a peek at girls in the change room. Male teachers are going to start using the female washroom to abuse our girls. I cannot imagine being the mother or father of a transgender youth and reading that garbage. I cannot imagine being a male teacher and feeling that label.
So let’s pause a minute and think this through. I recently read an article and there are approximately 0.3% of transgender people in the United States. Another poll estimates 1 in 200 to 1 in 500. Now, while that number is hard to confirm because so many live in silence or in hiding, it’s a small number. Like very small. This very small minority has very big hurtles and very real fears. From a Canadian poll, 77% of transgender or gender-nonconforming has seriously considered suicide and 43% have actually attempted suicide. 87% of transgender students felt unsafe in places at school. Those are staggering and frightening numbers. Knowing those numbers and the real struggles transgender individuals go through, why would anyone choose such a hard path just for a peek at a girl or boy going to the washroom? I just don’t believe anyone would choose to be transgender. I don’t think it’s a choice, at all.
I am a parent of three children who are happy with their born gender. I find it EXTREMELY offensive someone would suggest my son would say he is female so he can take advantage of a girl. It actually hurts my soul. You are labeling my son as a predator based on his gender. My children identify with their gender. There is no confusion for them. They will continue to use their designated bathrooms. They will continue to refer to themselves as boy or girl. I will continue to be referred as Mom. Their dad will still be dad. Their grandparents will continue to use their titles. Nothing changes for us because we know who we are. We have never struggled with an identity crisis. I know almost all the teachers at our school and unless they have been struggling in silence, they will continue to use their designated washrooms. They will continue to use their designated titles.
I feel, these guidelines, are in place to broaden labels for those who don’t know how to label themselves yet. These guidelines aren’t in place to say you can’t be called a girl if you are born and identify as a girl. These guidelines aren’t in place so I have to stop being called “Mom.” People are being far too literal and turning these guidelines into a path towards hate and fear.
Am I afraid for my children? Am I afraid for my girls? Of course, I am. I am afraid every day. I am afraid they didn’t hear I love you enough. I am afraid they heard my voice raised one too many times. I’m afraid they didn’t get enough nutrition. I am afraid they didn’t get enough help with their homework. I’m afraid they didn’t use their manners enough. I am afraid they will make poor choices and not learn from them.
I am NOT afraid of YOUR transgender student who wants to use the washroom they identify with. I am NOT afraid of YOUR transgender student who wants to play on the sports team they identify with. I am not afraid of YOUR child. I am NOT afraid of your family and the extremely difficult path you walk. And I won’t be a part of perpetuating the fear and hate.
There is a good chance nothing will change at our school. There is a very real chance; we don’t have a transgender student. If this is the case, nothing changes. NOTHING.
There is a VERY GOOD chance; I will have to have open and honest conversations with my children about transgender individuals. There is a VERY GOOD chance; I will have to discuss the new guidelines with my children. AND it is MY job, as a parent, they understand why these guidelines are in place, who they are in place for and who they are designed to protect. It is NOT my job to instill more fear. It is my job to develop and nurture a level of empathy, acceptance and understanding.
If you want to be a part of the conversation and how this will roll out to your school, go to board meetings. Offer suggestions as to how these guidelines should be implemented. Share your concerns but offer solutions. Read and educate yourself. Talk to a transgender family and understand their hopes and concerns. Watch a documentary. But more importantly arm yourself with knowledge AND empathy. Don’t be a part of fear and hate spreading. Because as one of my favorite bloggers, Glennon Doyle Melton, says “We belong to each other” and “Love Wins.”
Wednesday, January 20, 2016
Wednesday, August 05, 2015
See that boy?
See that boy on the ice? The one skating as fast as he can and then abruptly crashing into the ice. The one that doesn’t seem as engaged as the other players? That’s my boy. He skates and falls. He tries and smiles. He would spend all practice trying to master the side stop. He absolutely loves hockey. And he can’t wait to score his first “real” goal in a “real” game.
He’s one of the youngest and for years to come, he’ll probably be one of the smallest.
Last year, was his first year in hockey. He spent more time wearing hockey gear around the house than he ever did on skates. His first practice was spent taking 2-3 strides and falling. But every time, he got up smiling and waving to me in the stands. He was so proud and instantly fell for the game.
It’s easy to see the difference between my hockey player and yours. In the stands, I hear the softly spoken words….
“What is THAT kid doing?”
“He’s wasting the coach’s time”
“Can’t he skate?”
“What is he doing here?”
I hear these things as I sit by myself, admiring the determination of my boy. I hear these words as I struggle with my own internal competitive dialog. These words floated easily from your mouth and landed heavily on my shoulders. Thankfully, I can bear the weight of your words.
But the words don’t stop there. Your child repeatedly tells my child in the locker room. …..
“You suck!”
“You’ll never score a goal.”
“You suck at hockey.”
My son was called a “baby” because of the size of his skates. Small skates does not equal small heart. Or small determination. Or small effort. Small skates only measures one thing…his feet.
When we climb into the truck for the drive home, I am faced with the same question…”Mom, do I suck at hockey?” And I do what most parents do…
I tell my son to ignore the trash talk. I tell my son to try his best. I talk to him about the importance of practice. I remind him to be kind and polite to the coaches and players. I remind him, CONSTANTLY, he needs pay attention. And when my good sportsmanship speech is done, I ask him two questions.
“Did you have fun today?”
“Did you try your best?”
Though his smile and sweat drenched hair can silently answer the questions, he proudly says “Yes.” And that’s what I care abwout. After all, my son is 6.
I am not asking anyone to tell me, or him, that he’s the next Gretzky. Or the next Sidney Crosby. Or the next Connor McDavid. I just want people to see his worth as a determined, enthusiastic hockey loving 6 year old. Trash talk at 16 can be motivating. Trash talk at 6 can be defeating.
As a former competitive athlete, I strongly believe in the power of sport. Sport encourages physical activity. Sport teaches team work and perseverance. Sport develops an internal drive to succeed. All the benefits of sport, start from a simple place though. The love of sport starts because we have fun. We love being on the ice or in the pool. We love being with friends. As we grow and develop our skills, the love of having fun with sport, morphs into a desire to succeed. The desire to succeed and be the best creates awesome athletes. You can't win an Olympic gold or hoist the Stanley cup if you don't have the overwhelming passion to be the best.
More important than winning though, is being a respectful athlete. And this needs to be taught from the youngest of ages. Kids need to be taught how to lose graciously. Kids need to encourage and congratulate others. Kids need to learn that losing is an important and valuable part of winning. Believe me when I tell you, the medals and awards will fade. The will end up in boxes at the back of a closet. Sometime down the line, athletes won't remember what "that award" was won for, but you will remember how the supportive, kind and encouraging athletes made you feel. You will remember a genuine hug from your rival. You will remember the sincere congratulations from someone who didn't have the best game. Being a good sport will last an entire lifetime. Trust me.
Right now, his love of hockey far outshines his talent and ability. Right now, wearing all the gear and having fun makes him feel like a star. So, for now, we will focus on having fun. He’ll continue to get distracted. He’ll continue to have fun falling. I’ll get excited and cheer when his stick just touches the puck. And I’ll wait, with baited breath, to lose my shit when he scores his first “real” goal. And I know that hard earned goal will be a day we both remember for a long time. And while he's flying high from his first goal, I will gently remind him he had a whole team supporting him. And then I'll ask him..."Did you have fun?"
He’s one of the youngest and for years to come, he’ll probably be one of the smallest.
Last year, was his first year in hockey. He spent more time wearing hockey gear around the house than he ever did on skates. His first practice was spent taking 2-3 strides and falling. But every time, he got up smiling and waving to me in the stands. He was so proud and instantly fell for the game.
It’s easy to see the difference between my hockey player and yours. In the stands, I hear the softly spoken words….
“What is THAT kid doing?”
“He’s wasting the coach’s time”
“Can’t he skate?”
“What is he doing here?”
I hear these things as I sit by myself, admiring the determination of my boy. I hear these words as I struggle with my own internal competitive dialog. These words floated easily from your mouth and landed heavily on my shoulders. Thankfully, I can bear the weight of your words.
But the words don’t stop there. Your child repeatedly tells my child in the locker room. …..
“You suck!”
“You’ll never score a goal.”
“You suck at hockey.”
My son was called a “baby” because of the size of his skates. Small skates does not equal small heart. Or small determination. Or small effort. Small skates only measures one thing…his feet.
When we climb into the truck for the drive home, I am faced with the same question…”Mom, do I suck at hockey?” And I do what most parents do…
I tell my son to ignore the trash talk. I tell my son to try his best. I talk to him about the importance of practice. I remind him to be kind and polite to the coaches and players. I remind him, CONSTANTLY, he needs pay attention. And when my good sportsmanship speech is done, I ask him two questions.
“Did you have fun today?”
“Did you try your best?”
Though his smile and sweat drenched hair can silently answer the questions, he proudly says “Yes.” And that’s what I care abwout. After all, my son is 6.
I am not asking anyone to tell me, or him, that he’s the next Gretzky. Or the next Sidney Crosby. Or the next Connor McDavid. I just want people to see his worth as a determined, enthusiastic hockey loving 6 year old. Trash talk at 16 can be motivating. Trash talk at 6 can be defeating.
As a former competitive athlete, I strongly believe in the power of sport. Sport encourages physical activity. Sport teaches team work and perseverance. Sport develops an internal drive to succeed. All the benefits of sport, start from a simple place though. The love of sport starts because we have fun. We love being on the ice or in the pool. We love being with friends. As we grow and develop our skills, the love of having fun with sport, morphs into a desire to succeed. The desire to succeed and be the best creates awesome athletes. You can't win an Olympic gold or hoist the Stanley cup if you don't have the overwhelming passion to be the best.
More important than winning though, is being a respectful athlete. And this needs to be taught from the youngest of ages. Kids need to be taught how to lose graciously. Kids need to encourage and congratulate others. Kids need to learn that losing is an important and valuable part of winning. Believe me when I tell you, the medals and awards will fade. The will end up in boxes at the back of a closet. Sometime down the line, athletes won't remember what "that award" was won for, but you will remember how the supportive, kind and encouraging athletes made you feel. You will remember a genuine hug from your rival. You will remember the sincere congratulations from someone who didn't have the best game. Being a good sport will last an entire lifetime. Trust me.
Right now, his love of hockey far outshines his talent and ability. Right now, wearing all the gear and having fun makes him feel like a star. So, for now, we will focus on having fun. He’ll continue to get distracted. He’ll continue to have fun falling. I’ll get excited and cheer when his stick just touches the puck. And I’ll wait, with baited breath, to lose my shit when he scores his first “real” goal. And I know that hard earned goal will be a day we both remember for a long time. And while he's flying high from his first goal, I will gently remind him he had a whole team supporting him. And then I'll ask him..."Did you have fun?"
Friday, February 22, 2013
My Dearest Grandma
As I was looking through my dusty blog I found this draft that never got published. Now is a good a time as ever.
This my eulogy:
We have gathered here today to cherish, remember and celebrate the life of Grace Smith. I stand before you, deeply honored, to deliver the eulogy of our friend. Our Cousin. Our Auntie. Our sister. Our Grandma. Our mother. Pa’s wife. The beautiful and wonderful, Grandma Grace.
Grandma, was born Grace Elaine, to Glen and Bernice Erickson and was one of five girls. She was delivered by her Aunty Vi in her Grandma Cunningham’s home. From an early age, Grandma learned her way around the kitchen. She was taught from a young age to preserve fruits and vegetables for those long winters in Garth. She may not have known the difference between a screwdriver and a hammer but she did know the difference between a coffee pot and a tea kettle. She enjoyed handmade toys from her daddy and baking in the kitchen with her mom. According to her sisters she was not known for being brave, actually she was kind of a scaredy cat, but she was quite the prankster. She also was not a good sport when it came to games, whether it be losing at cards, striking out in baseball or losing at checkers.
Grandma was always very kind to animals. Cats and dogs often got to enjoy her cooking as they were served behind the old house. Chickens were shown off and bragged about. She could not stand hair in anyone’s eyes and it was a common occurrence for her to trim the bangs of dogs and horse. Any animal that had meaning to someone she loved was welcomed to be buried in the Pet Cemetery behind the house and usually a service was welcomed and encouraged.
Grandma was a collector and if you were lucky, she’d take you for the latest hunt. Her treasures were most often found at garage sales. Or Antique shops. Or auction sales. She has a large collection of crock pots and coil oil lamps which still grace the walls of her home. She was always on the lookout for the record she just might not have. She was always collecting frames because a great picture always needed a great frame. She had closets full of clothes and a pair of shoes to match any outfit you put together. Her collection of chairs just might have been enough to seat everyone here today.
Grandma was always doing what the next expert was going to tell you, long before it was made into a commercial or book. She wore helmets, seatbelts and life jackets long before it was law. She washed her hands frequently long before it was a commercial to stop the spread of the flu. She never liked to take any sort of medication or get any immunizations. She always kept her nails short and scrubbed clean.
Grandma was an incredibly skilled crafter. She sewed many of her daughters’ clothes. She fabric covered countless photo albums. Many books have lasted 30+ years because she preserved the covers with Mac-Tac. Old worn jeans would be turned into large quilts and always with a personalized touch. Halloween costume requests were always taken with a smile and she always delivered above what was desired. Dough was not just reserved for making buns but was also for her dough art creations that hang on many walls. She created many, MANY paper toule pictures, which were always framed. She was always on hand with her expertise when a new home needed a fresh coat of paint.
Grandma had an incredibly green thumb. She always had a large vegetable garden which was usually planted months before, from seed, in her greenhouse. There was always an overabundance of cucumbers and tomatoes for canning. You were always welcome in her garden and rarely got scolded for taking too much. She worked on maintaining a beautiful yard. Planting trees, flowers on the deck and several flower gardens. Often flowers were taken from their plant and pressed into books so she could admire their beauty later. She mowed her grass for years before teaching her grandchildren how to operate the mower. And you always had to ride the mower and then take the push mower around the trees.
Grandma was a master in the kitchen. Cakes and cookies. Breads and buns. Pies and cinnamon buns. Easter, Thanksgiving and Christmas were big affairs. Her table would be decked with her best china. Napkins would be artistically folded. Name tags placed strategically. As she watched her family grow the table got longer, often going from the kitchen into the living room. She would be dressed up with an apron while she cooked. And she would only duck out briefly to recurl her hair before everyone sat down to enjoy her long days work. She usually insisted everyone share something. You could share a reason to be thankful. A joke. A song. Or a story. Her fridges, yes there were two, were NEVER empty for family or friends or farmhands. There was always a fresh slice of bread with raspberry jam after mowing the lawn. There was always an open can of peaches for something sweet or garlic dills pickles when you needed to cure a cold.
Grandma’s Kitchen was the heart of her home. It was where she taught us grandkids her favourite recipes. It was where she played games. Where she had drinks with friends. Where she prepared meals for her farming husband, Jeep. Where she shared her regular morning coffee with her son, Daryl. Where she washed, dye and cut her own hair. Where she cut the hair of others. Where she would bird watch. She would welcome line dance lessons in her kitchen. She would listen to her records in the kitchen. She would sort pictures in her kitchen. She would write letters in her kitchen and study history in her kitchen.
Writing and delivering a Eulogy is both an honor and a difficult task. It can bring countless tears. It can bring beaming smiles. It can bring booming laughter. And it can bring overwhelming sadness. To remember and honor and love with all of our heart is the greatest gift we can give Grace. She loved us all. She had memories with us all. And today we give her those memories back. Before we know it, today will become yesterday. And then last week. And then last month. And then we will be saying...”years ago.”
Carry her with you and.....
Smile when you can cucumbers. Think of her when you smell fresh bread. Honor her when you have a glass of wine. Willingly take one more picture. Dance when you hear Elvis. Remember the smile she’d flash you when you completed job number 994 on her to do list. Laugh when you recall an argument you won or lost against her. Go out and use the phrase “Full of piss and vinegar” to describe someone. Remember the floors rugs gracing her vehicles. Buckle up. Cherish the times she let you drive alone....before you were legal. Share a tried and true recipe. Cherish the little things that are dear to you. Pass on the important memories to the ones you love. Love like she loved. And cherish every memory she forgot.
Saturday, August 11, 2012
Big Valley Jamboree
Every year since we've moved to the Camrose area, we have taken on the BVJ. The only difference this year is that Adam, a non country fan, joined us. What I love about this festival is that kids 11&under are free. FREE. Of course we adults have to purchase tickets and food prices there are crazy but we don't have to purchase additional tickets for the kids to join in the fun. It was another great year and we will surely be back next year.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Wasting Time
Over my years, I have learned you cannot change people. You can hope and wish and hint at change, but really it is a futile endeavour. You can choose to get down in the pit with a person or be the person with a rope and wait with patience for them to grab hold. You can be the help and you can be the support but you cannot be the change in anyone but yourself.
You can, however, change how react. You can change how you move forward. You can choose where to put forth your energy. You can have faith that your positive choices will eventually have a positive effect on those around you. But change doesn't happen overnight. You can't hope for change before bed and wake up to find everything as you hope. Just like you can't plant a garden one day and wake up expecting a full harvest the next day.
The garden metaphor is a good one for me. Years ago, when we moved out here, I started my first garden with a very green thumb. I made plenty of mistakes. Knowing I wanted better results I reached out to experienced gardeners. I read gardening books and websites. Each spring, I implemented changes and each year I saw improvements. Had I not made any changes over the years, I would still be dealing with the same frustrating results.
Find a recurring event in your life and evaluate how you react to it. It will be different for everyone. Food, children, spouses...? Is your reaction the same every time? If you react the same every time, why are different results expected? How will you change your reaction to get different results?
Just some food for thought.
You can, however, change how react. You can change how you move forward. You can choose where to put forth your energy. You can have faith that your positive choices will eventually have a positive effect on those around you. But change doesn't happen overnight. You can't hope for change before bed and wake up to find everything as you hope. Just like you can't plant a garden one day and wake up expecting a full harvest the next day.
The garden metaphor is a good one for me. Years ago, when we moved out here, I started my first garden with a very green thumb. I made plenty of mistakes. Knowing I wanted better results I reached out to experienced gardeners. I read gardening books and websites. Each spring, I implemented changes and each year I saw improvements. Had I not made any changes over the years, I would still be dealing with the same frustrating results.
Find a recurring event in your life and evaluate how you react to it. It will be different for everyone. Food, children, spouses...? Is your reaction the same every time? If you react the same every time, why are different results expected? How will you change your reaction to get different results?
Just some food for thought.
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Christmas Day
Christmas Day was spent at home. We opened up our family gifts and then hosted Adam's family for Christmas dinner.
Thursday, January 05, 2012
Today
Today, Ashley, Tyson and I headed into the city. The main reason was for Ashley as she had a doctor appointment to check her hearing. Over Christmas, I noticed a lot of "turn it up" and "what?" and "what did you say." My inlaws noticed it during her short visit over Christmas and the EA's (educational assitant) in her classroom have also noticed troubles when seated in the back. So we are trying an approach for a month at which time she will go back and be retested. If the problem still persists she will go for further testing.
Heading to Edmonton also allowed me to visit United Cycle during their January clearance. I went there last year and bought myself 2 pairs of shoes at 50-60% which lasted me through 2011. This year I got myself another pair of running shoes (50% off), my first pair of cycling shoes (30% off) and new bike pedals (10% off). The only thing I paid full price for was a pair of socks that say "I ♥ Tri" and I'll admit it was more impulse than actual need :-/
I then found my way to MEC and bought myself a pair of Vibram shoes. They are for barefoot running. I am hoping some barefoot running will make me more efficient and stronger. I will still use traditional running shoes but this should be a positive addition to my training :-)
And that was our day. We rushed (safely back) to get Natasha from school and then home to make supper. Everyone is playing, though not quietly, and I am looking forward to my night of run, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and maybe a glass of red wine.
Heading to Edmonton also allowed me to visit United Cycle during their January clearance. I went there last year and bought myself 2 pairs of shoes at 50-60% which lasted me through 2011. This year I got myself another pair of running shoes (50% off), my first pair of cycling shoes (30% off) and new bike pedals (10% off). The only thing I paid full price for was a pair of socks that say "I ♥ Tri" and I'll admit it was more impulse than actual need :-/
I then found my way to MEC and bought myself a pair of Vibram shoes. They are for barefoot running. I am hoping some barefoot running will make me more efficient and stronger. I will still use traditional running shoes but this should be a positive addition to my training :-)
And that was our day. We rushed (safely back) to get Natasha from school and then home to make supper. Everyone is playing, though not quietly, and I am looking forward to my night of run, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice and maybe a glass of red wine.
Tuesday, January 03, 2012
2012 Things to Do
Sometimes it is easy to get lost in the day to day of life. Going here, cleaning this, folding that and one day blends into the next.
So I decided to make a list of things to do in 2012.
1) Take the kids to a u-pick farm.
2) Ride my horse more.
3) Go hiking in the mountians.
4) Go to the Calgary zoo.
5) Go to the trapline.
6) Visit Alix monthly.
7) Go camping in the mountains.
So I decided to make a list of things to do in 2012.
1) Take the kids to a u-pick farm.
2) Ride my horse more.
3) Go hiking in the mountians.
4) Go to the Calgary zoo.
5) Go to the trapline.
6) Visit Alix monthly.
7) Go camping in the mountains.
Sunday, January 01, 2012
2011 Reflection
I saw these questions on Escaping the City's blog and thought I would reflect and answer the questions.
Did you try anything new in 2011?
Nope, not really. I did run my first half marathon.
What was the most memorable gathering you attended (or held) in 2011?
The most memorable gathering this year was, by far, Amanda & Chris's wedding. The whole time in Saskatchewan was fun. Stupid things happened. Laughs happened. Ripped shirts happened.
Did you discover a favourite song or musical artist in 2011?
Adele. I seriously love her :-)
Five things you do not want to forget from 2011?
My 1/2 marathon.
Beating Daylan at the Banff Olympic Triathlon.
Amanda & Chris's Wedding.
Holding Gido's Hand.
Our trip to see Adam in Fort McMurray.
What was your favourite gift given and/or received in 2011?
A repeating theme here but I think the greatest gift given to me was the honour of writing and delivery Gido's eulogy.
What was your funniest story from 2011?
OMG. It would probably be when my Mom sounded as though she was speaking in Native tongue and Candace and I spent a couple hours listening to a 1 min video and laughing ourselves into hysterics. I had several gut busting episodes with Candace this year.
Was there anything you were feeling nostalgic for in 2011?
There was a lot of nostalgia when Gido passed away and I am always nostalgic when I think of my grandma.
10 things you were thankful for in 2011?
In no particular order:
1. Family
2. My heating pad
3. Laughter
4. Games
5. My bike and treadmill
6. My health
7. Renewed friendships
8. Fruitful garden
9. A break from Chickens
10. My new car
Did you form any new, or strengthen any existing, relationships in 2011?
I think my relationship with my cousin Candace was strengthened. We spent a lot of time together this year. We can talk about anything, laugh over the silliest things and we both enjoy red wine.
What was something you planned to do in 2011 but didn't?
I had planned to do a 1/2 ironman race but it never happened. Really though, it is ok. A race like that needs adequate training and I just wasn't prepared enough.
What was your biggest indulgence in 2011?
I think my biggest indulgence, for myself, was my new camera lens.
What was the best meal you enjoyed in 2011?
The best meal of 2011 would have to be our lobster dinner on New Years Eve. All of us around the table, each wearing Happy New Year hats, tearing into our own lobster.
What was your favourite photo taken OF you and/or the photo you loved best that you took in 2011?
My favorite photo taken of me is probably the one with all my kids down by the tressel in Camrose. I am usually the one behind the camera and it was nice to have a picture with my darlings.
My favorite photo taken this year is harder to nail down as I take some many pictures. However, I love the picture I took of Amanda and Chris on the pier as part of their wedding day.
What was your most memorable moment with family in 2011?
I think I would have to say Gido's funeral. Some will say, FUNERAL, most memorable? But yes! Our family grieves but we also reflect and remember in a way that is not sober or depressing. We really hold each other up :-)
What was the bravest thing you did in 2011?
The bravest thing I did this year was writing and delivering Gido's euolgy. It was such an honour but also a huge responsibility.
Did you visit any place that holds special meaning to you in 2011?
Going back to the "Church on the Hill" to bury Gido. The "Church on the Hill" was a place we visited many times with Baba & Gido and is now the place they rest together.
What was your most surprising revelation in 2011?
Empathy can be as powerful as forgiveness.
Do you remember any of your goals and resolutions from 2011?
Ummm not really. One of them was probably lose weight, which I did.
What was your most memorable trip in 2011?
Mexico with Adam in December.
What was your most saddest moment in 2011?
I have two. The first one, was visiting my grandma after a lengthy absence. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see her with advancing Alzheimers. The second, was losing Gido. It was a very final goodbye for the Wizniuk family.
What phrase or saying did you pick up in 2011?
From the mouth of Tyson "No Bad Words"
What do you believe in?
This is a hard question to answer and I think it might be worth it's own blog post.
How did you celebrate your birthday in 2011?
I celebrated my birthday this year at Big Valley Jamboree.
What could you have done without in 2011?
Not really. Everything happens for a reason and is an opporunity for knowledge and growth.
What did you regret not getting to or not doing in 2011?
See above.
When did you feel your most authentic in 2011?
I felt my most authentic when I was racing. Whether it was my 1/2 marathon or triathlon, competing is in my blood.
What was the most important, or potent, lesson you learned in 2011?
You are stronger than you think.
What is your greatest wish for 2012?
My greatest wish for myself is to remain injury free during my training endevours. I wish health and happiness to everyone I love, whatever that may mean to them.
Did you try anything new in 2011?
Nope, not really. I did run my first half marathon.
What was the most memorable gathering you attended (or held) in 2011?
The most memorable gathering this year was, by far, Amanda & Chris's wedding. The whole time in Saskatchewan was fun. Stupid things happened. Laughs happened. Ripped shirts happened.
Did you discover a favourite song or musical artist in 2011?
Adele. I seriously love her :-)
Five things you do not want to forget from 2011?
My 1/2 marathon.
Beating Daylan at the Banff Olympic Triathlon.
Amanda & Chris's Wedding.
Holding Gido's Hand.
Our trip to see Adam in Fort McMurray.
What was your favourite gift given and/or received in 2011?
A repeating theme here but I think the greatest gift given to me was the honour of writing and delivery Gido's eulogy.
What was your funniest story from 2011?
OMG. It would probably be when my Mom sounded as though she was speaking in Native tongue and Candace and I spent a couple hours listening to a 1 min video and laughing ourselves into hysterics. I had several gut busting episodes with Candace this year.
Was there anything you were feeling nostalgic for in 2011?
There was a lot of nostalgia when Gido passed away and I am always nostalgic when I think of my grandma.
10 things you were thankful for in 2011?
In no particular order:
1. Family
2. My heating pad
3. Laughter
4. Games
5. My bike and treadmill
6. My health
7. Renewed friendships
8. Fruitful garden
9. A break from Chickens
10. My new car
Did you form any new, or strengthen any existing, relationships in 2011?
I think my relationship with my cousin Candace was strengthened. We spent a lot of time together this year. We can talk about anything, laugh over the silliest things and we both enjoy red wine.
What was something you planned to do in 2011 but didn't?
I had planned to do a 1/2 ironman race but it never happened. Really though, it is ok. A race like that needs adequate training and I just wasn't prepared enough.
What was your biggest indulgence in 2011?
I think my biggest indulgence, for myself, was my new camera lens.
What was the best meal you enjoyed in 2011?
The best meal of 2011 would have to be our lobster dinner on New Years Eve. All of us around the table, each wearing Happy New Year hats, tearing into our own lobster.
What was your favourite photo taken OF you and/or the photo you loved best that you took in 2011?
My favorite photo taken of me is probably the one with all my kids down by the tressel in Camrose. I am usually the one behind the camera and it was nice to have a picture with my darlings.
My favorite photo taken this year is harder to nail down as I take some many pictures. However, I love the picture I took of Amanda and Chris on the pier as part of their wedding day.
What was your most memorable moment with family in 2011?
I think I would have to say Gido's funeral. Some will say, FUNERAL, most memorable? But yes! Our family grieves but we also reflect and remember in a way that is not sober or depressing. We really hold each other up :-)
What was the bravest thing you did in 2011?
The bravest thing I did this year was writing and delivering Gido's euolgy. It was such an honour but also a huge responsibility.
Did you visit any place that holds special meaning to you in 2011?
Going back to the "Church on the Hill" to bury Gido. The "Church on the Hill" was a place we visited many times with Baba & Gido and is now the place they rest together.
What was your most surprising revelation in 2011?
Empathy can be as powerful as forgiveness.
Do you remember any of your goals and resolutions from 2011?
Ummm not really. One of them was probably lose weight, which I did.
What was your most memorable trip in 2011?
Mexico with Adam in December.
What was your most saddest moment in 2011?
I have two. The first one, was visiting my grandma after a lengthy absence. It was absolutely heartbreaking to see her with advancing Alzheimers. The second, was losing Gido. It was a very final goodbye for the Wizniuk family.
What phrase or saying did you pick up in 2011?
From the mouth of Tyson "No Bad Words"
What do you believe in?
This is a hard question to answer and I think it might be worth it's own blog post.
How did you celebrate your birthday in 2011?
I celebrated my birthday this year at Big Valley Jamboree.
What could you have done without in 2011?
Not really. Everything happens for a reason and is an opporunity for knowledge and growth.
What did you regret not getting to or not doing in 2011?
See above.
When did you feel your most authentic in 2011?
I felt my most authentic when I was racing. Whether it was my 1/2 marathon or triathlon, competing is in my blood.
What was the most important, or potent, lesson you learned in 2011?
You are stronger than you think.
What is your greatest wish for 2012?
My greatest wish for myself is to remain injury free during my training endevours. I wish health and happiness to everyone I love, whatever that may mean to them.
New Years Resolution vs Personal Plan
I'm back and not just because it is January 1, 2012 ;-)
Instead of New Year Resolutions I decided I am going to have a personal plan instead. Resolutions seem to have two outcomes; succeed or fail. A personal plan allows for changes, reflection and redirection if needed.
So you ask, what is my personal plan?
1) Continue on the athletic journey I am currently on and see it through all the seasons. The more and more I train, the more I am reminded of the athlete within. I am reminded of my dedication and determination. I am reminded of my drive and committment. I need to remember these feelings in the summer months when the garden, warm weather and beer are calling me. I need to find a balance in the summer that involves both fitness and fun.
2) Consistency with my kids. Consistency and routine are very different. I am great at keeping to routine. Following through with parenting plans, not so much. I have great ideas but none seem to make it further than a week. This does not help anyone. Kids end up confused and frustrated. I end up frustrated because things don't change. So, develop a plan, be the example and follow through.
3) Expand my mind. I want to read a couple of classic books, take a language class or maybe a distance learning course. There will be a time, sooner than later, when I will not be a stay at home mom. What will my life look like then? I am not entirely sure but it is not too early to start challenging my mind.
What will I carry from 2011-2012? I will continue to let go of things I cannot control and I will not stew over things I cannot change.
Instead of New Year Resolutions I decided I am going to have a personal plan instead. Resolutions seem to have two outcomes; succeed or fail. A personal plan allows for changes, reflection and redirection if needed.
So you ask, what is my personal plan?
1) Continue on the athletic journey I am currently on and see it through all the seasons. The more and more I train, the more I am reminded of the athlete within. I am reminded of my dedication and determination. I am reminded of my drive and committment. I need to remember these feelings in the summer months when the garden, warm weather and beer are calling me. I need to find a balance in the summer that involves both fitness and fun.
2) Consistency with my kids. Consistency and routine are very different. I am great at keeping to routine. Following through with parenting plans, not so much. I have great ideas but none seem to make it further than a week. This does not help anyone. Kids end up confused and frustrated. I end up frustrated because things don't change. So, develop a plan, be the example and follow through.
3) Expand my mind. I want to read a couple of classic books, take a language class or maybe a distance learning course. There will be a time, sooner than later, when I will not be a stay at home mom. What will my life look like then? I am not entirely sure but it is not too early to start challenging my mind.
What will I carry from 2011-2012? I will continue to let go of things I cannot control and I will not stew over things I cannot change.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Back to School
Over 8 years ago, I was writing reports, doing scheduling, balancing and supervising. The busy part of my year was February, RSP season. Now, my focus is preparing for back to school; coming up with rules, labeling school supplies, preparing lunches, sorting clothes, etc. In the workforce, I received a paycheck. Staying at home, I receive smiles, kisses (and the occasional headache) and I love you's as payment. One form of payment fills the bank, the other fills my heart. I am extremely thankful for my hard working husband! He works hard to provide for our family which also allows me to fulfill my important role as stay at home mom.
Here is our "Screen" Rules for School Days:
TV/Computer/Wii Rules for School Days
No TV before school UNTIL:
1) Breakfast is finished
2) You are dressed
3) Hair is brushed
4) Teeth are brushed
5) Bag is packed and you are ready to walk out the door
No TV after school UNTIL:
1) Coat/hoodies are hung up in the closet
2) Shoes are in the closet
3) Bags are hung up in the closet
4) Lunch kits and lunch containers are emptied
5) Homework is done
I did get a little bit of a groan when I read and placed the rules on the fridge. The girls don't get picked up until 8:29am. I explained to the girls that if they get up at 7:30am they should have enough time to get ready and watch one TV show. They smiled when they heard that.
Back to school is tomorrow which will bring, you guessed it, back to school photos. Natasha actually said "really?" and I told her she is not allowed to complain about BTS photos until at least Junior High. This tradition is thanks to my mom. I know she heard many complaints and whines and moans. I also know she took some pictures that had no smiles on the film. Now, in my 30s, with my own kids, I am grateful for the photo tradition. I know, too, when the kids look back, they will be too.
Here is our "Screen" Rules for School Days:
TV/Computer/Wii Rules for School Days
No TV before school UNTIL:
1) Breakfast is finished
2) You are dressed
3) Hair is brushed
4) Teeth are brushed
5) Bag is packed and you are ready to walk out the door
No TV after school UNTIL:
1) Coat/hoodies are hung up in the closet
2) Shoes are in the closet
3) Bags are hung up in the closet
4) Lunch kits and lunch containers are emptied
5) Homework is done
I did get a little bit of a groan when I read and placed the rules on the fridge. The girls don't get picked up until 8:29am. I explained to the girls that if they get up at 7:30am they should have enough time to get ready and watch one TV show. They smiled when they heard that.
Back to school is tomorrow which will bring, you guessed it, back to school photos. Natasha actually said "really?" and I told her she is not allowed to complain about BTS photos until at least Junior High. This tradition is thanks to my mom. I know she heard many complaints and whines and moans. I also know she took some pictures that had no smiles on the film. Now, in my 30s, with my own kids, I am grateful for the photo tradition. I know, too, when the kids look back, they will be too.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Friday, May 13, 2011
Hair Cuts
The girls got haircuts once the dance season ended. They decided on the cuts they wanted all on their own and they went short. I think they look beautiful but I am a little bias ;-)
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Gido's Eulogy
This is the eulogy I wrote and delivered for my Gido that passed away on April 30, 2011. This was probably one of the greatest honors in my life to date. It was also one of the hardest things I have written, as I wanted it to be perfect. Thankfully, everything went fine and I received many compliments. I hope I did you and your life proud Gido.
We are all gathered here today to remember and honor the long and blessed life of George Wizniuk. I am deeply honored to deliver the eulogy of our dearest George. Our Dearest Gido. Our Dearest Dad.
Gido was born November 14, 1916, to Andrew and Wasylyna Wizniuk. He had 10 brothers and sisters. Gido grew up learning to be appreciative of what he had and that hard work was worth the effort. Gido learned from a young age to make the most of what you had. That could mean knitting your own sweaters, using flour sacks for clothing or being grateful for Saturday night baths. He learned to enjoy evenings with his family by passing time with cards and story telling. Gido was also known to be bossy. He liked things to be done his way or not at all. When it was time to enjoy tea it was expected to stir your tea and remove your spoon. If you were caught with your spoon lingering in your tea cup, you would find yourself stirring salt into your tea rather than sugar.
Many times you hear the saying, Our eyes are the windows to our soul. In Gido's case, it was his hands. His hands worked. His hands played. His hands prayed.
It would be next to impossible to count how many times his hands held a hand of cards or marbles. It would be easier to count the people here who haven't shared a card game with Gido rather than count those who have. Ask George for a game a crib and I don't think "NO" was in his vocabulary. He would take the time to teach you a card game or take the time to skunk you. Really, it didn't matter if you won or lost, "Another game?" would be something you often heard. He had a large collection of cards in the china cabinet but usually pulled out the old sticky deck, that was almost impossible to shuffle. Even when Gido received a battery operated card shuffler, the cards got shuffled in his hands, and the card shuffler collected dust.
One of his favorite places to use his hands was in the garden. There was always work to do in the garden and it didn't have to be his own. If you had a garden, he was going to check it out and offer some experienced advice. If your potatoes needed to come out, he was looking for the shovel before you could tell him "Don't worry." Years after his garden was no longer his own, he was there to help planting. Gido would often share garden lessons year after year. There was a certain way to plant onions. There was a certain way to pick peas. It wasn't uncommon for Gido to plant MUCH more than what could be consumed by him and Baba. 600 Onion plants. 600 hills of potatoes or 83 Tomato plants. He planted his garden in abundance. He found great pride in providing his family with food. Before heading home from a visit from the farm, you were sure to be loaded down with potatoes, peas, squash, carrots and anything extra he thought you might need. Even after you said "That's enough" he was sure to throw in a couple extra.
Saying Gido was a hard working man would be like saying Baba was a good cook. It's an obvious statement. Gido was very giving of his time and energy. He was very involved in helping the community of Glendon grow. He helped in the construction of Kev-Ski-Hi. He helped organize and plan the construction of the RCMP Hall and the Seniors Center. He would ride his bike 3miles to Franchere to delivery his cream. He ensured many of us knew the importance of a hard days work. He would take you to milk cows, chop wood, feed animals and collect eggs and all before breakfast. Just when you thought it was time to relax and celebrate a hard days work, he was there waiting with more things to do. There was never "nothing to do" in Gido' mind. Even when his body was failing his mind was always thinking about the next thing that needed to get done.
Gido was an early to bed and early to rise man. It wasn't uncommon for Gido to find his way to his cot beneath the stairs by 8pm. If you were there visiting, well you just learned to keep it down. If Gido emerged from his bed, you better decrease your decibals, and quickly. Early to bed usually had Gido awake before 6am. His early mornings usually consisted of coffee, cornflakes, and the morning radio playing loudly. Many of us have shared early mornings with Gido not because we had planned too but because his radio didn't allow sleeping in.
As Gido aged, so did his love and affection for animals. Many animals have graced the farm. Some were raised to feed his family. Others were just furry pets that brought him joy. If he was told not to feed a dog table scraps, you could rest assured that dog got extra. He had names for the squirrels that would chase away Baba's hummingbirds. He would even let roosters chase after his grandchildren if it provided a chuckle. He wouldn't think twice about running a mile after a little pig to ensure its safe return back home.
Gido loved a great deal. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for George to travel from store to store or town to town because each place offered a different deal. We were often told "Don't flush", share the bath water and close the lights. The ironic part of his tight wallet was that it was always open when it came to his children and grandchildren. Five dollars here, ten there or money for gas. Even as we aged and politely declined his offer, he would say "You can't afford it, take it." It wasn't a fight we weren't going to win. Gido always wanted to try and fix something before even giving thought to purchasing new. It didn't matter if he knew how to fix it, he would try or often express his own thoughts on how to fix it. He would happily save you money by fixing your pair of sunglasses, a trusted old shower head, or offer advice on how to fix a motor home.
Gido was a respectful and accepting man. As he watched his children and grandchildren fall in love, he welcomed the newcomers with open arms. He would take you, proudly, on the tour of his farm. You would find a card with your name on it at Christmas even if it was your first visit or you have been in the family for years. Gido loved his family and enjoyed watching his family grow and change. Gido really wanted to be a Great Gido, and he welcomed 13 great grandchildren into his life. Gido loved a good handshake. "Come shake Gido's hand!" was something his said to his Great Grandchildren at every visit. It didn't matter if you were his grandaughter or grandson, you were going to learn the importance of a good handshake.
Gido's greatest love and accomplishment was his 69 year marriage to Baba. Gido was a loving and devoted husband to Baba. As there roles changed and Gido became the caregiver, he never missed a beat. He would ensure she got in and out cars, halls, hospitals, houses with him by her side. If you weren't helping her the right way, he would tell you so. When they were separated, nothing could keep Gido from visiting his Baba. He drove to Bonnyville too fast. He walked from Extended Care to the hospital, often lifting his cane because he was in a hurry to get to her side. She was his whole heart. When Gido spoke of Baba you could watch the tears well in his eyes because there was so much love in him. He missed her dearly but his journey was not over yet. He waited until he was called home.
George loved to raise his hands to cast his fishing rod or share a DY BOY SHA with friends and family. Even as he was preparing to leave this earth, his hands never lost their loving touch or farmer strength. As we say our final goodbye, we are extremely grateful for everything you have given us. Everything you have taught us. And the memories you leave us behind with. May you forever rest in peace and watch over us.
On behalf of the family I would like to extend sincere gratitude to the Bonnyville Hospital, Extended Care and members of the Glendon Community. Though the farm was always home, the staff did their best to make them comfortable and happy. I would also like to invite everyone to join us after the interment, right here, for lunch. Please come eat, browse pictures and share memories of a great man that we called George, Gido and Dad. Thank you!
We are all gathered here today to remember and honor the long and blessed life of George Wizniuk. I am deeply honored to deliver the eulogy of our dearest George. Our Dearest Gido. Our Dearest Dad.
Gido was born November 14, 1916, to Andrew and Wasylyna Wizniuk. He had 10 brothers and sisters. Gido grew up learning to be appreciative of what he had and that hard work was worth the effort. Gido learned from a young age to make the most of what you had. That could mean knitting your own sweaters, using flour sacks for clothing or being grateful for Saturday night baths. He learned to enjoy evenings with his family by passing time with cards and story telling. Gido was also known to be bossy. He liked things to be done his way or not at all. When it was time to enjoy tea it was expected to stir your tea and remove your spoon. If you were caught with your spoon lingering in your tea cup, you would find yourself stirring salt into your tea rather than sugar.
Many times you hear the saying, Our eyes are the windows to our soul. In Gido's case, it was his hands. His hands worked. His hands played. His hands prayed.
It would be next to impossible to count how many times his hands held a hand of cards or marbles. It would be easier to count the people here who haven't shared a card game with Gido rather than count those who have. Ask George for a game a crib and I don't think "NO" was in his vocabulary. He would take the time to teach you a card game or take the time to skunk you. Really, it didn't matter if you won or lost, "Another game?" would be something you often heard. He had a large collection of cards in the china cabinet but usually pulled out the old sticky deck, that was almost impossible to shuffle. Even when Gido received a battery operated card shuffler, the cards got shuffled in his hands, and the card shuffler collected dust.
One of his favorite places to use his hands was in the garden. There was always work to do in the garden and it didn't have to be his own. If you had a garden, he was going to check it out and offer some experienced advice. If your potatoes needed to come out, he was looking for the shovel before you could tell him "Don't worry." Years after his garden was no longer his own, he was there to help planting. Gido would often share garden lessons year after year. There was a certain way to plant onions. There was a certain way to pick peas. It wasn't uncommon for Gido to plant MUCH more than what could be consumed by him and Baba. 600 Onion plants. 600 hills of potatoes or 83 Tomato plants. He planted his garden in abundance. He found great pride in providing his family with food. Before heading home from a visit from the farm, you were sure to be loaded down with potatoes, peas, squash, carrots and anything extra he thought you might need. Even after you said "That's enough" he was sure to throw in a couple extra.
Saying Gido was a hard working man would be like saying Baba was a good cook. It's an obvious statement. Gido was very giving of his time and energy. He was very involved in helping the community of Glendon grow. He helped in the construction of Kev-Ski-Hi. He helped organize and plan the construction of the RCMP Hall and the Seniors Center. He would ride his bike 3miles to Franchere to delivery his cream. He ensured many of us knew the importance of a hard days work. He would take you to milk cows, chop wood, feed animals and collect eggs and all before breakfast. Just when you thought it was time to relax and celebrate a hard days work, he was there waiting with more things to do. There was never "nothing to do" in Gido' mind. Even when his body was failing his mind was always thinking about the next thing that needed to get done.
Gido was an early to bed and early to rise man. It wasn't uncommon for Gido to find his way to his cot beneath the stairs by 8pm. If you were there visiting, well you just learned to keep it down. If Gido emerged from his bed, you better decrease your decibals, and quickly. Early to bed usually had Gido awake before 6am. His early mornings usually consisted of coffee, cornflakes, and the morning radio playing loudly. Many of us have shared early mornings with Gido not because we had planned too but because his radio didn't allow sleeping in.
As Gido aged, so did his love and affection for animals. Many animals have graced the farm. Some were raised to feed his family. Others were just furry pets that brought him joy. If he was told not to feed a dog table scraps, you could rest assured that dog got extra. He had names for the squirrels that would chase away Baba's hummingbirds. He would even let roosters chase after his grandchildren if it provided a chuckle. He wouldn't think twice about running a mile after a little pig to ensure its safe return back home.
Gido loved a great deal. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence for George to travel from store to store or town to town because each place offered a different deal. We were often told "Don't flush", share the bath water and close the lights. The ironic part of his tight wallet was that it was always open when it came to his children and grandchildren. Five dollars here, ten there or money for gas. Even as we aged and politely declined his offer, he would say "You can't afford it, take it." It wasn't a fight we weren't going to win. Gido always wanted to try and fix something before even giving thought to purchasing new. It didn't matter if he knew how to fix it, he would try or often express his own thoughts on how to fix it. He would happily save you money by fixing your pair of sunglasses, a trusted old shower head, or offer advice on how to fix a motor home.
Gido was a respectful and accepting man. As he watched his children and grandchildren fall in love, he welcomed the newcomers with open arms. He would take you, proudly, on the tour of his farm. You would find a card with your name on it at Christmas even if it was your first visit or you have been in the family for years. Gido loved his family and enjoyed watching his family grow and change. Gido really wanted to be a Great Gido, and he welcomed 13 great grandchildren into his life. Gido loved a good handshake. "Come shake Gido's hand!" was something his said to his Great Grandchildren at every visit. It didn't matter if you were his grandaughter or grandson, you were going to learn the importance of a good handshake.
Gido's greatest love and accomplishment was his 69 year marriage to Baba. Gido was a loving and devoted husband to Baba. As there roles changed and Gido became the caregiver, he never missed a beat. He would ensure she got in and out cars, halls, hospitals, houses with him by her side. If you weren't helping her the right way, he would tell you so. When they were separated, nothing could keep Gido from visiting his Baba. He drove to Bonnyville too fast. He walked from Extended Care to the hospital, often lifting his cane because he was in a hurry to get to her side. She was his whole heart. When Gido spoke of Baba you could watch the tears well in his eyes because there was so much love in him. He missed her dearly but his journey was not over yet. He waited until he was called home.
George loved to raise his hands to cast his fishing rod or share a DY BOY SHA with friends and family. Even as he was preparing to leave this earth, his hands never lost their loving touch or farmer strength. As we say our final goodbye, we are extremely grateful for everything you have given us. Everything you have taught us. And the memories you leave us behind with. May you forever rest in peace and watch over us.
On behalf of the family I would like to extend sincere gratitude to the Bonnyville Hospital, Extended Care and members of the Glendon Community. Though the farm was always home, the staff did their best to make them comfortable and happy. I would also like to invite everyone to join us after the interment, right here, for lunch. Please come eat, browse pictures and share memories of a great man that we called George, Gido and Dad. Thank you!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
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